March Makeovers

This month, I attended for the first time, Fairfax County’s 6^th Annual Special Education Conference, held in Springfield, Virginia, for parents, educators, and students. With a variety of informative workshops offered from preschool through  high school, such as Homework Made Simple: Solutions for Stress-Free Homework,  Courageous Parenting: 5 Ways to Take Back Control of Your Life, Home and Classroom, and The Importance of a Strong School-Home Partnership in Promoting Student Success, to name just a few of the covered topics, I received so much from this valuable day of ideas, discussions,  and resource sharing, that I highly recommend this conference to others interested in this significant area of work.

While I found all of the conference presentations that I heard to be worthwhile, I was most moved from listening to the keynote speaker, Jonathan Mooney’s personal story that is also mentioned in the book that he coauthored with David Cole, Learning Outside the Lines.  I was so touched by Jonathan’s words and experiences  that I decided to include his interview here with Barry Gordon that tells more about his profound journey  of extraordinary perseverance and personal empowerment , in case you are interested in learning more.

I haven’t read his other book, The Short Bus, yet, but it is definitely a new addition to my spring reading list.

What really spoke to me from this conference and interview is the utmost importance for parents and for teachers to be attuned to our children’s individual needs, and for parents to especially be our children’s unshakable advocates, no matter what.  Here is a video clip from www.simpletruths.com that captures the heart and soul of the incredible impact that a trusting and loving relationship with a teacher can make on a child’s life, and also displays the meaningful intrinsic rewards of the path of teaching. Heart of a Teacher

In my own life,  our family pace accelerates quite rapidly when March rolls around, the month that baseball begins for our boys, so I was especially eager to gain from this conference useful tools and strategies to increase homework harmony and efficiency, particularly with games and practices filling so many evenings and weekends  for our household from March through June. Into our 5^th season of spring little league, I very much was intrigued with creating a bright new March Makeover around here that would endure throughout the coming months and beyond.

On a different note, I am also drawn to embarking on a March Makeover that’s calling out to me right now that involves rolling up my sleeves and diving in to some exciting new projects and priorities.  So if you don’t see another blog post from me for a while, you now know why!

Being Love

I recently came across Marci Shimoff’s book, Love for No Reason, and immediately lit up with the book in my hands before even turning to one single page.  I just knew from the get-go that I was going to enjoy this book exuding with love that was such a pleasure for me to read and to absorb.  For those of you who are not familiar with it, Marci eloquently captured the beauty and purity of a generous and a selfless kind of love that we are all capable of experiencing that is expansive enough to radiate to everyone and to everything.   She also pointed out that this higher love flows from the inside out, and is not dependent on circumstances, other people, or external conditions.

Other meaningful messages that resonated with me were the reminders to love with an open heart and to feel compassion for oneself and for others, even in the midst of difficult times.  After finishing this treasured book and practicing  the exercises and techniques, I noticed  significant improvements in both my energy level and in my mood this month that endured even during my most challenging motherhood moments that involved some later than anticipated bedtimes for my children, chores left undone on certain days, and a few extra lengthy evening homework sessions.

An expression that Marci introduced in the book that also caught my interest was the term love luminary.  I was clearly affected in a positive way by these uplifting words that enabled me to pay closer attention to the magnificent love luminaries that enhance my own life, and to especially appreciate my family as my utmost source of love illumination.  This book also helped me to become more attuned to the ways that basking in my own sense of love assists me to embrace opportunities to evolve and grow and extend my love to all.

The words of Paul Tillich, twentieth-century theologian and philosopher, that appeared in Marci’s book on the page titled, “Hear from the Heart, The first duty of love is to listen,” brought me back in time to my early days of motherhood when my younger son taught me a valuable lesson in love and presence.   I’ll never forget the gentle ways that he would walk right up to me and place my face in his hands to guide my eyes to his direction to make sure that I would give him my full and undivided attention.  Children have such an intuitive sense of taking in their surroundings, and truly are our greatest teachers.

Love for No Reason is filled with inspiring quotes and love wisdom. In my humble opinion, there is always room to share, so here are a few more quotes that you might enjoy:

“Your task is not to seek for Love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
-Rumi, thirteenth-century Sufi poet

“There is a life-force within your soul, seek that life.
There is a gem in the mountain of your body, seek that mine.
O traveler, if you are in search of That.
Don’t look outside, look inside yourself and seek That.”
-Rumi, thirteenth-century Sufi poet

“Find the love you seek, by first finding the love within yourself.  Learn to rest in that place within you that is your true home.”
-Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, spiritual leader and humanitarian

“Love the world as your own self; then you can truly care for all things.”
-the Tao Te Ching

“When one has fully entered the realm of love, the world—no matter how imperfect—becomes rich and beautiful; it consists solely of opportunities for love.”
-Soren Kierkegaard, nineteenth-century philosopher

“There is no mistaking love.  You feel it in your heart.  It is the common fiber of life, the flame that heats our soul, energizes our spirit, and supplies passion to our lives.”
-Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, psychiatrist and author

A Spontaneous Snow Day

Today I am going to try something new.   School is closed for the day due to ice and snow, and wanting to finish this blog, I am going to completely change my writing topic that I originally had in mind for January.  My previous writing idea can wait for another day.  Today I am more inspired about expressing the thoughts that are true to my heart at this very moment in time, and are aligned with my highest values and vision for the day.  Snow days certainly require some flexibility, so why not act on this today right here and right now?  My children will be home with me all day today, and I want to be fully present and joyful with them, so here goes finishing this blog early this morning while they are still asleep.  I feel so free and liberated with this decision, and I am eagerly waiting for the boys to wake up soon to experience a fun filled day together at home with my family.

What will we do with our day?  How can we embrace our unexpected time together?   I am really looking forward to our day of home bound adventures, and I am so happy to be thinking about how we can optimize our special snow day.  It feels extra nice waking up a bit earlier than the boys to also have this peaceful quiet time to begin to plan for the gift of today intentionally.  I know that my days typically do run smoother when I am more proactive than reactive, and when my thoughts, behaviors, and actions, are clear and are purposeful.

Reflecting on last year’s Winter Wonderland blizzard, I am also appreciative of having food, shelter, power, and safety today, and am grateful for a flexible schedule that allows me to be home to enjoy this day with my children.  I do not take this for granted, not even for a second.  But seconds of sleep time are coming to a close, so I am going to put an end to this writing time.  As I am typing here this very moment, the thought of pancakes just popped into my head, chocolate chip pancakes!  I think that I will make chocolate chip pancakes for the boys this morning, a breakfast that may just SHOCK my children.  I can’t wait to see the smiles on their faces when they wake up to this meal, and I feel truly blessed for this meaningful day of warm winter discoveries.

Off to make the pancakes and to celebrate this sweet snow day surprise.

December Doozies

Dinner wasn’t exactly what I would call pleasant at our house the other night.  In fact, it was definitely one of those dinner doozies.  Several hours before we sat down to eat: all of the “fun” began.  As soon as the boys came home from school that fine day, my younger son entered the kitchen and took one whiff of the vegetable soup that was simmering on the stove and uttered, “What’s that HORRIBLE smell?  Is that even legal?”  Things continued to go downhill from there when he then asked, “What’s for dinner, mom?”

To all of the moms out there who either have someone else preparing your everyday meals or who are gifted chefs and whose children look forward to and regularly relish eating your scrumptious food and preparing healthy meals right along with you, I suppose those particular words might not be so draining to hear, and perhaps may even lead to a wonderful exchange of flowing compliments and overall feel good, blissful moments together!

Well, when it comes to the art of cooking, I confess that I don’t often reach this peak state of outer joy with my family, as my children do not usually place me in the “talented” cook category and boy, do they like to voice their strong and loud opinions about this!   I hear quite a lot from my sons, “Mom, why do you have to be a health coach?”, and, “Why couldn’t you be a “normal“ mom like the rest of the mothers that we know?”  I am pretty used to my sons’ teasing by now and to their resistance to some of the healthy changes that I continue to work towards all of us making as a family.   However, that recent meal that I just described entered the zone of downright UGLINESS!  My nine year old son went way too far with his insults and also declared that night, “You don’t make the kind of food I LIKE!”  After he crossed the line of acceptable behavior and temporarily forgot about the meaning of the words manners and etiquette, I told my dear child that I expected a sincere written apology from him, right after assigning him to clean-up duty first, of course, and this is what he wrote:

“Dear mom,

I’m sorry for yelling and throwing away the salad you made.  I will never do it again.  Well, maybe.  Wait I THINK I WILL but for now I’m sorry.”

After his note was read and TV was NOT watched by the boys later that evening, I also made it a point of elevating the mood of the house by cranking up a tune that I like, Macy Gray’s song, Beauty In the World.  I even threw in some  dancing to add to my own enjoyment, and I HIGHLY recommend  that EVERY mom  acquire a  personal musical collection  to their parenting toolbelt of pleasure, and putting on some dancing shoes for these types of occasions to shake and sing the stress away!  Ahhh, did I feel exhilarated when I began to reclaim my personal inner peace and power!

No worries moms, I am very resilient and am rejoicing in the now, and remain hopeful and optimistic.  I am determined to improving the quality and satisfaction of my home cooked meals, and to mindfully create a more loving and inspiring mealtime atmosphere.  My skin is thickening with each new recipe that I attempt, and I welcome our mealtime gatherings as invitations to strengthen our family bonds and connections.  One thing for sure is that our meal interactions will continue to elicit a hearty dose of family laughter and giggles!

After this written rambling release, I am also committed to speak more lovingly once again about my sweet, darling children!  But to be on the safe side, maybe it would also be a wise move for me right about now to reread my blog from last month and focus once again on thoughts of GRATITUTE! …………Yes, gratitude………… I am feeling calmer in the present moment already, and all of that drama is starting to melt and fade away.  Okay, it does also help that my children are at school as I write this.   Perhaps this may also be an opportune time for me to open up my gratitude journal and add a page or two……….. The power of positive thoughts (and all day school) are truly amazing!

This time of year really does tend to bring on the doozies for so many folks, doesn’t it? Although December may be an exciting month that innocent children in America commonly consider as enchanting and magical, parents typically find this time of year to be incredibly exhausting and stressful.  Even though genuinely wanting so much to take pleasure in wondrous celebrations and create lasting memories with their families and friends, adults in our culture often struggle a great deal with true enjoyment and full presence throughout the holiday season.   With all of the added responsibilities and perceived expectations throughout December, it is no surprise that so many people get so frazzled  this time of year that is considered by many to be THE month of distractions and meltdowns!  Financial struggle and hardship in our consumer driven society can also magnify the tensions and pressures felt especially during the holidays in this tough economy.

Without advance thought and planning, and sometimes difficult yet needed and frank conversations with our loved ones,  the holiday season can creep up all too quickly and suddenly, and can send otherwise rational and responsible parents over the edge and into a state of frenzy, overwhelm,  and irritability;  quite the opposite of what is intended here.  Believe me, I have been there before and can absolutely relate to this rather unpleasant state of ineffective fretting, complaining, and hyper busyness!

As a result of stress overload, other common challenges this time of year include overeating, overspending, overpromising, and overextending.   Increased family togetherness during the holidays with relatives of strained relationships and even positive ones may also contribute to some fumbles made without conscious awareness and attention. Losses, separations, anxieties, fears, and regrets may also be felt more deeply this time of year.

I have discovered that my own joy multiplies when I am open and honest about my wishes and when I respectfully express my sincere desires to my friends and family. I also find that when I honor self-care and consider win-win solutions, this helps me to be more relaxed and true to myself and much more able to appreciate holiday gatherings.   Over the years, I have personally declined partaking in many social gift exchange offers this time of year while still delighting in the company of my dear friends at these special celebrations.   It has been a great relief for me to realize that I am able to have a blast at these festive get-togethers and participate in the way that feels more natural for me.

But like I said earlier, I have certainly made PLENTY of doozies in my lifetime of Decembers, and if you ask my children, I am sure that they would gladly offer additional examples your way!   In fact, two  that stand out from last December involve purchasing wasteful, unwanted and unneeded  snuggies as  gifts for my children, and  missing my younger son’s basketball game one rushed December morning because I was in too much of a hurry to take the time to write down and check the game’s location before heading out the door.  Instead of watching my son’s team play that day, I spent the morning driving frantically around the neighborhood searching from school to school unsuccessfully trying to find everyone.  This situation could have completely been avoided had I just taken the time to record in advance the information on my calendar, instead of thinking that I knew exactly where I was going that day.  Lesson since learned!

During this busy season when  so many people feel super stressed, emotional,  out of balance and out of sorts as the pile of our “to dos” seems so critical and never ending,  I believe that it is especially beneficial for  parents to closely examine our lists to make sure that we are prioritizing what matters most.  Equally key for a saner and more satisfying holiday experience is letting go of what is not really all that important, and simplifying as much as possible whenever and wherever we can.  Reminding myself that invitations are merely requests and not demands also helps me tremendously to make wiser decisions, and to better conserve my energies and say no when my limits have been reached.

Here are some pondering thoughts for December:

What is the essence of the holiday season that you would like to capture for yourself and for your family?  How can you simplify to create more ease and authentic joy this time of year?

What  actions do you want to take this month to enhance your holiday pleasure that are in alignment with your highest values and reflections of who you are, and how you want to live your life?

What choices resonate with you to enrich your holiday cheer and work best for you to lessen your holiday spending? How can you express your appreciation to your loved ones by cultivating these relationships in other fulfilling, nonmaterial ways?

How can you open your heart to serve others and nurture more kindness and compassion in the world throughout the holiday season and beyond?

How do you intend to feed your soul, lift your spirits, and take good care of yourself throughout the holidays?

How will you ground yourself and stay centered this holiday season by carving out some needed time and space for rest, relaxation, and play?  If you could use some support with this, how will you go about getting it?

For anyone who might still be reading this , I hope you find this blog to be of some help this month. Thank you for staying with me, and for especially putting up with my December doozies. I have an inkling that some of you might have a few December doozies of your own to share, although I certainly wish you a Drama Free December that is gleaming with laughter, love, and lightness!

Have a delightful December, dear moms, doozies and all!

For support in creating the kind of meaningful holiday you want to experience, I am offering special December rates for individuals AND special individual and group rates for 2011, to launch your new year for more peace, joy, and well-being!  For individual coaching or group coaching for mothers, contact Lisa at Lisa@healthcenteredcoaching.com or 703-867-7221 to schedule your first session to get started in making your positive life changes.

An Attitude of Gratitude

During the month of November, I find myself incredibly full of gratitude. Every day I am really, and with Thanksgiving right around the corner, I am already overflowing with appreciation for all that I am grateful for, as my list is very long and continues to expand with each passing month and year.

In the midst of trying times, I believe that it is especially beneficial to cultivate an attitude of gratitude.  For many, such an outlook may initially feel somewhat foreign and challenging, and may take considerable practice and effort.  However, consistent dedication to shifting one’s focus toward thoughts of gratitude can also be tremendously rewarding and worthwhile.

As parents, it is so important for our children to know and feel the magnitude of our infinite, unconditional love.  What works for me personally to walk my own talk here is to make gratitude a habit of my daily attention. The fall season typically brings me to a place of deep appreciation that naturally comes through in my relationships with my children.  With both of our sons’ birthdays taking place during the colorful months of October and November, I tend to get extra sentimental right around now, as I reflect upon the wonders of the presence of these precious little miracles  in our lives.  These spectacular milestones also remind me of how blessed we truly are as a family, as well as what is most important in our lives.

Just the other day, I found in our collection of books, an endearing children’s story called I Am A Bunny, that we used to  enjoy reading together years ago,  when my sons were both still little ones.  What made this magical time together EXTRA fun for us way back then, was the line that we added to the story on the page that describes what the bunny Nicholas likes to do in the fall.  We made it a point of always including their birthdays to the plot.  Since this adorable little bunny mentioned, “in the fall, I like to watch the leaves falling from the trees”, “I watch the animals getting ready for winter,”  it seemed like the perfect place for us to insert our own festive fall events to the story line.

The boys absolutely adored reading this charming story and turning to this playful page, and so did I!  They used to get so excited and just sparkle with enthusiasm as they waited as patiently as they possibly could for their turn to shout out their own big line………. “and celebrate our birthdays!”

Over the years we have passed along and donated many of our well used children’s books, but I am just not able to part with this particular one that so fondly remains in our family memory banks.

With Thanksgiving soon approaching, I am especially looking forward to the opportunity to take a needed pause from our busy lives to purposely slow down and dedicate more loving quality time together as a family.  I savor these meaningful moments that bring a profound sense of happiness and contentment to my life.   For that and so much more, I am so very grateful!

Last night, my eleven year old son approached me at bedtime and asked my favorite question that has become a regular part of our bedtime routine, “Mom, can you please tuck me in?”  Okay, maybe he neglected to use the word please here.  But either way, I am so appreciative of this priceless bonding time with him, and I recognize that these golden invitations are likely to occur less frequently the older that he gets, as he continues to go through his healthy and normal development.  Each beautiful evening that these occasions of sweet innocence still linger, I cherish them and make the most of them.

In parting, I welcome you to join me this month in contemplating what YOU are most grateful for, and to participate more fully in LIVING your greatest joys and passions, and in creating and sharing an abundance of joy all around you.

Here is wishing you and your loved ones an every day filled with an attitude of gratitude.

Fall and New Beginnings

I am writing my very first blog entry today, and am noticing that my hands are actually shaking as I think about what feels like a really big new beginning for me in my life………. Blogging, hmmm, BLOGGING? ME? I can’t believe that I am really DOING this!

I am genuinely excited, and I am reminding myself that my trembling hands and now fingers are just my body’s way of communicating my great enthusiasm, and are not exactly a new experience for me either.

Sitting here right now and putting my thoughts down on paper during the exquisite fall season of change also brings to mind another very special period of my life that I was beginning something new and something big. Back in the fall of 2005, I ran my first marathon, The Marine Corps Marathon, during the month of October, and boy was I thrilled to be standing at that starting line on the morning of my big race. But while waiting that memorable morning for the race to begin, my body was playing tricks on me that day too. My legs were shaking uncontrollably before the race began, as I was filled with nervous energy and anticipation while standing at the starting line, ever so eager for my significant journey to begin.

Looking back on that very special time in my life, I can also recall how quickly the nervousness faded as soon as the gun went off, and I began to inch my way forward, taking my first slow steps on the long and amazing open road ahead. That memory is still very clear and vivid to me even now, entering yet another new starting line during the month of October, and also observing that I am already on paragraph 4 here….. Yippee! I am very comforted to also notice that my body is cooperating with me once again by paragraph 4 as well. My fingers are no longer trembling, and I am getting more and more focused and at ease with the task at hand. Wow, I am elated and somewhat surprised to discover that I am also truly even ENJOYING my writing experience here, and I am smiling now too, thinking about how much joy I felt on race day back in the fall of 2005.

New beginnings are not always easy for me, but they sure are worthwhile and seem so much more manageable when I know that I am the one who is intentionally choosing to make them. One step at a time…………that mantra is very reassuring to me too, particularly with realizing that my final destination from starting this blog for moms is uncertain to me at this time. Thinking about the unforgettable memories of my first running marathon in 2005 lifts me up to this day, as I am beginning this new and very different marathon at this current point in time; one that is also filled with tremendous meaning and happiness for me. I can’t think of anything more rewarding and fulfilling than dedicating my writing to the topic of motherhood, a truly inspiring and transforming marathon that I feel so blessed to be a part of.

I’d like to share a quote that sits in front of me right now, as I am writing from my kitchen table, looking up at a magnet that rests on my refrigerator, and was given to me as a gift from a very dear running friend the final week before the start of my big race in October of 2005. The quote speaks to me once again during this thrilling October morning of 2010, as I face this new starting line in my life, stepping out into another magnificent, unknown frontier that is so open to possibilities.

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face…do the thing you think you cannot do. “ ~Eleanor Roosevelt

Recognizing Northern Virginia Healthy Kids Coalition’s designation of October as Breakfast Month in the Fairfax County Public Schools, one son began the day eating some cereal, and the other one enjoyed more of a lunch time meal instead, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. But at least the boys are both fed and have reached the bus stop finish line just in time! …………. It appears that our dog Skippy was the winner of the morning sprint around the house today. He won the breakfast prize that was sitting on the kitchen table and ate MY breakfast (that stinker) while I was helping to feed the boys and get them ready to make it to the school day starting line. We have no breakfast skippers in our home, but apparently do have a sneaky breakfast Skippy!

Motherhood is typically packed with a combination of MANY marathon and sprint like adventures. Although for me personally these days, my most cherished times are those spent together with my family without rushing or running anywhere at all. These ordinary everyday moments really are the most extraordinary ones.

Now that the boys have arrived to their school destination for today, I am ready to sit down and to slow down, and to eat my own breakfast, and with NO second helpings here for Skippy!

On this brisk and lovely Autumn morning, I am delighted to be starting the blogging and to be moving, and I look forward to sharing more in my future blogs with you.